is there anybody going to listen to my story

A few weeks ago, I was taking a walk with the significant other around my apartment neighborhood, and it was rather muggy outside, and I was sporting an old college t-shirt and shorts with my $2 Old Navy flip-flops that I usually only wear when putzing around the apt. or after a long shift at the 'bee's. It was nearing dusk, and the street lamps were buzzing with an orange fluorescent glow. We were walking slowly, alternating between avid conversation and comfortable silence, fingers loosely linked, when I noticed him looking at me intently and I gave him a questioning glance. He answered by simply saying: "You're beautiful."

You may take this to be cliche, or trite, or even fake, but if you heard the way in which it was uttered, you would reconsider your cynical take. Normally such a simple compliment would not lead me to a contemplative discourse on intimacy, yet the utter sincerity with which he said it made it something entirely different from an offhand comment. Don't get me wrong, he has complimented me before, but this was so unexpected, especially when it was given in a moment when I felt at best rather tired and sweaty. I was, of course, not wearing any makeup, my hair was back in my typical sloppy ponytail, and yet he was looking at me so carefully, so delicately, as if to admire me was to break me in some way. He simply looked with an openness and honesty and told me very matter-of-factly that I was beautiful. He even admitted that he didn't know why, but just said that I "glowed."

He's good to me, that one.

On a related note, this is something I've been pondering for awhile. For the duration of my young life thus far, I have had an unnatural dislike for the term "boyfriend." Let me explain. "Girlfriend" is an entirely acceptable term. I have no problem with tossing it around. I rather enjoy it when Daniel refers to me as his girlfriend. However, once people see me with my gentleman and inquire, "Ohh, Holly, is that your BOYFRIEND?!" I get a strange feeling of discomfort. Don't get all Freudian on me and declare it simply must be related to my inability to commit and whatnot. I have had serious relationships in my life. I am a powerfully loyal individual. That said, what is up with my aversion to this term? Has anyone else had this issue? I think it might be related to my love for words and specific letters, and the way words look and sound when seen and uttered, respectively, and that I appreciate "girl" as a word better than "boy," thus leading to a strange preference for one term over the other. However, I can't help but wonder... fellow wordsmiths, do you copy? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Also, a question to you married folk out there. I know it's been asked by every prepubescent child that's ever had a crush, and by those my age who struggle to find their vocation in life, but I'll ask it again, just to see if anyone out there in the blogosphere cares to aid my internal quandary. How did you KNOW that the person you married was the one for you? If you don't have any advice beyond, "It was just a feeling, I just KNEW" - that's okay. I want as many opinions on this as possible. Being a twenty-something, I have so many friends getting married/already married/starting families that I can't help but wonder how people younger than me seemed to figure it out before I did, with "it" of course being the answer to that ultimate question posed above. What's a free-spirited, mostly-independent, happily-committed-to-a-sweet-gentleman twenty-something to do?

Don't fret, dear reader [s, if you do indeed exist in plural form]. I will not be tying the knot anytime soon. My current significant other has made it very clear he isn't even thinking about marriage (to anyone, not just in reference to me) until after he has his degree, which won't be until this May, so that's awhile yet. Also, I have so many career-and-general-adventure-oriented goals I wish to accomplish before settling down that I know I need many more years of singledom ahead of me before I'm ready for that step. I just... need to know. It's been a question on my heart a lot lately, and I would love for even the smallest bit of direction. If you or someone you know may have a few words of wisdom to impart, I would love to hear it. All contributions are welcome.

Finally, my apologies for my absence this past month. It's not exactly a triumphant return to blogging if I post for a few months and then take a month-long sabbatical, but there it is. I'm sure a post is coming that will address further what has been percolating in the mind and heart of your resident wordsmith.